When one of our children was born, he had a virus and a couple other complications that landed him in the NICU for the first week of his life. He was 5 days old before my wife got to hold him for the first time. We soon after discovered he had severe food allergies. Because of his struggles at birth he also had a weakened immune system, which basically meant that he got sick every time we went to town. The first few years of his life were difficult for all of us.
An unforeseen source of difficulty during that time was the lack of understanding and compassion people tend to have for children with food allergies and medical complexities. When our son was old enough to start eating regular food, we had to be very careful with what he ate. Any exposure to food containing dairy, peanuts, eggs, tomatoes, or barley would result in hives, severe abdominal discomfort/pain, followed by 2-5 days of diarrhea. The pediatrician equipped us with an epi-pen and trained us on what to do if he had a severe allergic reaction.
All of our friends and extended family knew about our son's food allergies, but some of them didn't really understand or seem to believe us. They acted like we were just being unnecessarily strict and superstitious. When we went to family gatherings we had to watch him closely, because some people, who felt bad for him, would try to give him things he could not have.
A few times things did get slipped past us. Once someone stuck a spoonful of whipped cream in his mouth, and another time he was given a glass of 2% milk. When the milk was handed to him it spilled all over his arm and mouth, which instantly broke out in hives. The shocked look on that person's face when they saw the blemishes appear on his skin was something I'll never forget.
Around the time he turned 3 we were able to began introducing foods he had been allergic to in his diet. Today he has completely outgrown all of his food allergies. What a blessing it has been for him to be transformed into a healthy regular kid. What a blessing it has been for my wife and I to be able to empathize with other parents who are dealing with similar issues with their children. Some struggles you can only fully comprehend after you have been there yourself.
Through those hard times with our son we received a lot of help and advice from my sister, who had a child that was dealing with medical issues far more complicated and severe than what we had faced. Brandis knew what we were dealing with, and we now understood a little better about what she and her family had faced over the last few years. To see her blog, go to: agirlandhertube.blogspot.com.
There are 3 things we learned during the first 3 years with our son:
1. Even though his struggles were a difficult trial for us, we didn't have to look very far to find someone who had it much worse than we did. We had a niece that required a feeding tube, a relative with Crones disease, and we also were friends with a family whose daughter had been recently been diagnosed with leukemia. We were fortunate, because our son had the possibility of outgrowing his medical issues.
2. If a parent has one or more of their children on a 'weird' diet, respect their wishes! Though it may be tempting, conducting your own experiments on their kids by giving them foods they aren't supposed to have will never yield positive results.
3.It doesn't do any good to spend time feeling sorry for yourself and comparing your problems and issues with those of people who appear to 'have it easy'. Everyone is fighting a different battle, some just can't be seen from the outside.
While in the pursuit of happiness, one should stop, and just be happy. -Eleanor Roosevelt
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