In my youth I was involved with building and repairing many fences. That included planting fence posts of all kinds. It was hard, rewarding work. Being out with my kids working on the same farm where I grew up, I have started to notice something recently. A lot of wood fence posts I helped plant when I was a kid are now rotting away. Some of them have rotted all the way through and fallen over.
Some have been replaced and others have been temporarily resurrected with steel fence posts. Of all the things that can make a person feel old, this is the one that gets me. I remember when these posts were brand new.
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| This wood platform is threatening to drop the pump into the pond. |
It makes a person wonder. What was I doing all the years these posts were standing here holding up fences, secretly rotting away beneath the ground while the world went on around them? If I were to keel over tomorrow like a rotten fence post, can I look down on this life from the next and be proud of who I was and what I did? Can I consider the first part of my life a success?
There are moments in everyone's life when they reflect upon their accomplishments and wonder if they have come far enough, fast enough.
As difficult as it may be sometimes, it doesn't do any good to compare our accomplishments to those of our friends, siblings, parents, grandparents, etc. Everyone's life situation is different. When my grandfather was a teenager him and his two brothers owned a farm and a herd of dairy cattle. His life, and the world back then, were completely different than my life and the world in which we now live. I have owned a lot of cattle, but not any land (yet). Does that mean I have failed?
Although sometimes it has seemed that way to me, the answer is no. Failing to achieve a goal and a goal taking longer to accomplish than you would like are two different things. You don't fail at something until you give up and quit trying.
Achievements are measured differently for every person. What one person may consider success another person may see as failure. The old saying 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' also applies to success. It is all about attitude and how a person sees themselves.
When doing a serious self-evaluation, here are a few questions to consider:
1. What am I doing to serve others?
People that reasonably give of their time, talents, resources, and skills to help others are generally happier and more successful than people who don't.
2. Do I like my job?
If not, what are my plans to transform my current job into something I can enjoy?
3. Am I happy with my family situation?
If not, what can be done to mend fractured relationships, find a spouse, bring children into the home, or improve relationships with loved ones?
4. Am I happy being me?
If the answer is no, why is that and what will it take to make myself happy?
An interesting thing about those 4 questions is that they can all be controlled with choices you make. Our success and happiness depends on ourselves. Other people may be able to influence us, but their reach into our lives is limited. It is our choices that determine our success and happiness in life.
Elanor Roosevelt once said: "While in the pursuit of happiness one should stop, and just be happy."
If you are not happy with something in your life, change it! Don't be afraid to end a toxic relationship, say 'I'm sorry', look for a different job, or do whatever is necessary to make your life something you can enjoy.
