2016: Good Year, or Bad Year......What's Your Perspective?

With Christmas now over, it is time for social media become flooded with posts, memes, and tweets about how horrible the year has been.  The funny thing about this is that it's always the same people saying these things.  If all of what they say is true, their lives have really stunk for the last 6 or 7 years now.

Whether or not 2016 was a good year is all about your perspective and attitude.  Plenty of bad things happened to me and my family this year.  The worst thing being that my one of my Grandfathers passed away.  However, we have tried to make a habit of focusing on the positive.

That being said, my family had a great year!  We are all healthy, we only had to make one visit to the ER, and we got to go on a short vacation and see my Grandpa about 2 weeks before he passed away.  The kids caught more than 200 gophers, sold 300+ dozen ears of corn, raised and sold some calves, and put some money in their bank accounts.  We also had an awesome Christmas and have been having a lot of fun sledding in the abundance of snow that keeps falling.

Fun in the snow

Playing with Uncle W

She's only 2, but she is the master of the bumper cars

Riding the teacups at Lagoon

Preparing to mutton bust

First gopher of the year

Our corn salesmen hard at work

Counting the money from selling corn

After the work is done, then we have some fun

Sure it sounds more dramatic on Facebook to share all your problems and swear off the current year while you publicly welcome the next with open arms.  But, if we all make an effort to focus more on the positive, the world will be a happier place.

So whatever happened during your 2016, remember the good things and look forward to what may come next.

Happy New Year!

Giving Out 'Labels'

As a former child who is now a parent, I have made the following observation: children become what they are told they are.  We have to be very careful, because giving a child a label can be very encouraging or very damaging to them.  If a child is praised and told they are pretty, smart, and intelligent; they will become prettier, smarter, and even more intelligent.  If they are told they are mean, a bully, or falling behind academically, guess what?  They become those things, too.



If any human being, regardless of age, is told something enough times, to them it will become true.  For example:  I have a son in the first grade.  On the very first day of the school year his teacher started off by sharing a 'secret' and giving the entire class a label.  She told them that she only got the best students in her class.  The only kids allowed in her class were the smartest, kindest, and brightest students in the school.  I would have loved to see all their faces when they found this out.  From that point on, Mrs. C had the smartest, kindest, and brightest kids in the school, and it shows.  We are halfway through the school year and a large portion of the class has already exceeded the end of year benchmark for reading. At parent teacher conferences she told my wife and I that she has not had to discipline any of her students, and has not had any of the fighting, teasing, or gossiping among her kids that usually accompanies school age children as they learn how to interact with each other.   HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?

It all happened because she gave them a label, and the kids became what they were told they already were. Positive labels can have fantastic results.  Negative labels, however, can have an equally significant effect, but in the opposite direction.

Now consider this example:
(disclaimer: *bullying does happen and is an important issue in our schools and communities*)
There is a first grade girl (at a different school than where my son attends) who comes from a broken home, is not well cared for by either of her parents, and doesn't get the amount of attention that a child needs.  It is clear that this may be the root cause of her social issues.  She has made friends with the other girls in her class, but not long ago began treating them the same way she gets treated at home, and that's a problem.



There is one girl in particular that is getting the brunt of her unkindness.  This girl is very sweet but does not know how to deal with someone who is unkind.  The 'mean' girl insults her and makes fun of her frequently.  This causes the nice girl to go home in tears often and she now dreads going to school.  The nice girl's parents are working with the teacher to figure out how to deal with this 'bully' and restore the nice girl's love for school and learning.  Unfortunately, this girl with a rough home life was just labeled a bully.  Is giving someone a negative label, then trying to 'peel' it off the appropriate way to deal with this problem?

Can a first grade child who is still learning how to behave in public and how to interact with other children their age legitimately be labeled a 'bully'?  In some cases, maybe, but in most cases, absolutely not.  Six year old children mimic the behavior shown to them.  Just from the behavior shown by this mean girl, a person can make a pretty accurate guess as to what her home life is like.

The solution to this problem with the mean girl is not for her to be given a permanent seat in detention or to be suspended or expelled from first grade.  The solution is for the nice girl to continue being nice to the mean girl, and to distance herself from her.  If more students in the class would show unconditional kindness to this girl, she would eventually follow the examples of her peers, even if her home life does not improve.

Bullying is a difficult issue.  The reason is because there is no clear definition of what is and what is not considered bullying.  Most people would agree that saying or doing mean things with the intent to harm someone is bullying.  However, there are a lot of gray areas.  Is saying something unkind bullying?  Is passionately expressing one's opinion for or against something being a bully to those who feel differently?  When it comes to these gray areas, bullying is in the eye of those who feel bullied.

As we interact with children, whether they belong to us or someone else, may we all be more aware of our words and our actions so we do not give a child a negative label that may never peel off.

Celebrating for the Best Reason

In the fall of every year the St Alphonsus Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) hosts a harvest party for all the NICU 'graduates'.  The NICU 'grads' are the kids who have successfully made it out of the NICU and are now growing and thriving because of the treatment, care, and in a lot of cases the literal miracles they received while in the NICU.  We are proud to have one of those NICU miracles in our family.

R spent his first week of life in the NICU.  After 7 days of medical procedures, restless days and nights, waiting, praying, hoping, and dealing with a situation far more stressful and difficult than people would ever think, we finally got to take our little guy home.

Sporting his new NICU shirt

Shining a spotlight on the kids who most likely would not have survived were it not for the NICU, this party is a true reason to celebrate.  The hospital staff is so excited to see some of the babies they worked on.  Their demeanor sets a fun and light hearted mood for the whole event.  There are carnival style games to play, prizes to win, refreshments, face painting, cookie decorating, family photos, door prizes, and more, all free of charge.

Dancing on the stage, because no one can stand still when you hear the Village People

Face painting.  These teenage volunteers were terrible artists but they were trying so hard.

2 Ninja Turtles, a pig, and a duck eating some cookies they decorated.

Very few people know each other at the party, so it's a great place to meet new people and see other NICU miracles in person. The atmosphere at the party would best be described as one of pure joy.  Since all of the families there are on the other side of one of the most difficult times of their lives, all seem to have a connection with one another, and everyone is very happy.  

The people who dedicate themselves to working in the NICU, saving lives and helping strangers on a daily basis, surely deserve a special place in Heaven.

To see the news story on this event, click here

Manure Spreading Madness

During the month of September, we hired ourselves out to clean a few cow corrals for some people we go to church with.  It was a lot of work, but a lot of fun.

These corrals only get cleaned out every few years.  The years they aren't cleaned out, they are still cleaned, but the manure is piled in the center of the pens.  This gives the cattle a dry, comfortable place to lay down even in the harshest of fall and winter weather.  This year was one of the years the manure needed to get hauled out of the pens.


Before

Mr. H secured the stubble fields next to his property for us to spread manure on, so we didn't have to haul it very far.  Ironically, these fields are farmed by a man who works at the irrigation office in town and knows my kids very well from all the gopher tails they cash in (#smallworld).

The problem we had to solve before we could even get started was to find a manure spreader we could use.  The spreader we usually rent from my Dad for this job was broke down and needed a new floor put in before it could be used again.  We either had to fix that spreader or try to pick one up at a farm auction.  We finally decided on the former.  We parked the spreader on the lawn next to our house and tore into it.

We removed the floor chain and turned the kids loose with wrecking bars to pull out the old floor.  After the floor was out we cut off the old bolts, replaced some rusted out crossbeams, and repaired some broken welds.  Then we put in the new wood floor.

Breaking the drag chain tightener pulleys loose

G & R removing the old floor

Cleaning all the dirt and manure off, getting ready for the new floor

Finishing up bolting the boards down

Re-assembling the drag chain; and the dog wants his ball thrown

Everyone needed to climb under the spreader to help

A. tightening up the drag chain

Already a little dirty, but this is the finished product.

The whole repair job went much faster than we anticipated.  Once that was all done we hooked it up to a tractor and it was ready to go.

We dusted off my old Case 580 CK loader tractor and put it to work. Using the loader bucket, we chiseled out the 3-8 inches of dry packed manure that blanketed the corrals and loaded it into the newly repaired New Holland manure spreader.   During the week I would go over after work every day for about 3 hours and haul manure.  On Saturdays I spent the whole day there.  If I was really moving I could get 10 loads hauled every evening after work, and on Saturdays I could usually get between 25 and 30 loads hauled out.  It took about 2 weeks to get each of the corrals cleaned.

My helpers weren't able to come with me every evening, but as often as they could I would take one of them to help me.

A helping load the spreader

While we were doing this corral cleaning job, my kids became good friends with Mr. H.  They really won him over when R (the 4 year old) correctly diagnosed the ringworm on one of his calves that he hadn't noticed.  They were overjoyed at an opportunity to help feed the cattle and do whatever other work he needed to get done.

Mr. H  would come out to do his afternoon feeding right about the same time we'd show up in the evenings to work.  Every time I'd get on the loader to fill the manure spreader, whoever was riding with me right then would ask if they could go help with the feeding.  The first few times I was hesitant, but seeing that Mr. H appeared to enjoy having helpers, that became our routine.  Every time we'd come back from hauling out a load, G or R would run back over to the barn to be the twine collector or floor sweeper or kitty feeder until it was time to take out another load.  G even discovered that he was strong enough to wheel around the bales of hay on the little hay carts.

Helping with the feeding

It even got to where coming and riding on the spreader with me was a bother for them.  Whichever boy was with me would ask him to wait and to 'please not do anything until they got back'.  Then we'd come back into the yard to find Mr. H waiting on a bale of hay until his helper came back.  Then they'd go back to what they were doing until it was time to take out another load.

Branding & Vaccinating

Branding & Vaccinating

The last Friday and Saturday we were working there Mr. H had the water on his pasture and was cleaning out the corrugates with a shovel to get the water to go down.  Friday, R saw him out there and immediately wanted to go help.  It just so happened that we had his irrigating shovel in the back of the pickup.  I handed it to him and he ran out and started shoveling.  The next day G did the exact same thing.

R helping shovel out corrugates

Along the way to getting the corrals cleaned, this manure spreading job became the medium for generating some great experiences and creating some fond memories that my kids will never forget and will be talking about for years to come.

Littlest helper trying to pet the barn cats

We finally finished this project on Sept 27th.  After 18 days of work we had loaded, hauled and spread 210 loads of manure.

Before

After

In the end, life is not about the money we earn or the things we spend it on.  Life is about the relationships we build, the people whose lives we touch, and the service we render.

The kids with their new friend

Other notable events that occurred in the midst of completing this job:

-R got his finger shut in the tractor door and required a trip to the emergency room to get stitches.  When he returned home he had lunch and insisted on going back to work.
-One Saturday evening R and I hit a pheasant with the pickup on the way home.  Thanks to Idaho's roadkill salvage law passed in 2012, we ate it for dinner the next day.  It was delicious.  The kids keep asking me to hit another one.

Out of Sight, Still On Our Minds

As September 11th approaches we are reminded of the horrible tragedies that occurred at the World Trade Center towers, the Pentagon, and United Airlines Flight 93 that went down in Pennsylvania 15 years ago.  Anyone who was around then can remember where they were and what they were doing when they first heard the news of the terrorist attacks.

Photo Credit: google.com

It is unfathomable that any person or group of people could develop such a hatred towards the United States and its people, that they feel motivated and justified to devise a plan to kill as many Americans as they can.  Yet, there are people that harbor such hatred.  The twisted and confused minds that carried out the September 11th attacks thought their actions could shut down America.   But, bringing down the towers that were one of the most significant hubs for world commerce and decimating one entire side of the Pentagon were not enough to make our great country surrender.  It only brought us together.

Photo Credit: google.com

Photo Credit: google.com

There are hundreds of stories and personal accounts from people who were inside the towers when the planes hit.  These stories of selflessness, sacrifice, and  true heroism are saddening, inspiring, and uplifting all at the same time.  There are also personal accounts of people who should have been inside the twin towers when they were attacked, but for reasons that can only be attributed to divine intervention, they were late for work that day.

Photo Credit: google.com

There is a disconnect between those who were actually involved in the larger than life events that day, and the rest of the world who could only watch things unfold from a television screen.  I watched the towers fall live on the news, but at that time I did not understood how devastating it was.

In 2005 I had the opportunity to visit the World Trade Center site.  It wasn't until then that I was able to fully understand and appreciate the magnitude of the tragedy and what happened that day 4 years before.  I remember being awe struck that almost 4 years after the towers collapsed, construction crews were still cleaning up the debris.  There was a 16 acre hole in the ground that was still being excavated out so construction could begin on what was to take the place of the fallen buildings.

Mounted on the fence surrounding the site were giant posters that depicted a timeline of September 11th.  As people walked along the fence reading and observing the pictures that were taken that day, at the actual spot where the buildings fell, the sounds of the city that never sleeps faded away into a quiet reverence.  There were dozens of people standing around as I took in the scene around me, yet it was as quiet as if I were standing there alone.  When people spoke it came out as a mere whisper.  People were crying unashamedly as they talked to each other about people they knew that had died that day.

I heard discussions of how horrible people felt for those in the towers above the impact zones that were hanging out the windows for a breath of fresh air. People who weren't injured in the crashes but could not escape from the buildings.  People whose prayers to be rescued and return home safely were not answered in the way they were hoping.  How horrible it must have been for those people whose situation was so desperate that the best option they had was to jump out of the buildings to certain death.  I hope those people knew that everyone who was watching, both in person and on television, was wishing and hoping with all their might that somehow they could be saved.  I hope those suffering people did not feel like they were forgotten or abandoned.

Photo Credit: google.com

Yes, the pictures are graphic, the stories, videos, and documentaries are graphic, but they are real.  This is real life.  This is not a video game or a movie made for mindless entertainment.  This really happened.  It may be hard to see and talk about, but we need to remember that day and the events that transpired.  On Tuesday, September 11th, 2001 the world witnessed the very worst and the very best of the human condition.  People whose hatred drove them to lethal violence against thousands of innocent people, and people whose love and concern for others motivated them to give up their own lives as they made an attempt to save the lives of others.

"Greater love hath no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Some say that time heals all wounds.  I believe there are some wounds that never fully heal.  We get used to the pain and over time it fades, but it is never gone.  Like the attack on Pearl Harbor, the September 11th attacks are now part of our American history.  The innocent lives lost that day should be remembered, and the selfless heroism we witnessed should be celebrated.


God Bless America

Photo Credit: google.com

Photo Credit: google.com

Older Than a Rotten Fence Post

As my birthday month approaches, I am increasingly aware that I am about to turn a big round number.  I am not looking forward to it.

In my youth I was involved with building and repairing many fences.  That included planting fence posts of all kinds.  It was hard, rewarding work.  Being out with my kids working on the same farm where I grew up, I have started to notice something recently.  A lot of wood fence posts I helped plant when I was a kid are now rotting away.  Some of them have rotted all the way through and fallen over.



Some have been replaced and others have been temporarily resurrected with steel fence posts.  Of all the things that can make a person feel old, this is the one that gets me.  I remember when these posts were brand new.

This wood platform is threatening to drop the pump into the pond.

It makes a person wonder.  What was I doing all the years these posts were standing here holding up fences, secretly rotting away beneath the ground while the world went on around them?   If I were to keel over tomorrow like a rotten fence post, can I look down on this life from the next and be proud of who I was and what I did?  Can I consider the first part of my life a success?

There are moments in everyone's life when they reflect upon their accomplishments and wonder if they have come far enough, fast enough.

As difficult as it may be sometimes, it doesn't do any good to compare our accomplishments to those of our friends, siblings, parents, grandparents, etc.  Everyone's life situation is different.  When my grandfather was a teenager him and his two brothers owned a farm and a herd of dairy cattle.  His life, and the world back then, were completely different than my life and the world in which we now live.  I have owned a lot of cattle, but not any land (yet).  Does that mean I have failed?

Although sometimes it has seemed that way to me, the answer is no.  Failing to achieve a goal and a goal taking longer to accomplish than you would like are two different things.  You don't fail at something until you give up and quit trying.

Achievements are measured differently for every person.  What one person may consider success another person may see as failure.  The old saying 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' also applies to success.  It is all about attitude and how a person sees themselves.

When doing a serious self-evaluation, here are a few questions to consider:

1.  What am I doing to serve others?
                People that reasonably give of their time, talents, resources, and skills to help others are                     generally happier and more successful than people who don't.

2.  Do I like my job?
                 If not, what are my plans to transform my current job into something I can enjoy?

3. Am I happy with my family situation?
                 If not, what can be done to mend fractured relationships, find a spouse, bring children into                  the home, or improve relationships with loved ones?

4.  Am I happy being me?
                 If the answer is no, why is that and what will it take to make myself happy?

An interesting thing about those 4 questions is that they can all be controlled with choices you make.  Our success and happiness depends on ourselves.  Other people may be able to influence us, but their reach into our lives is limited.  It is our choices that determine our success and happiness in life.

Elanor Roosevelt once said: "While in the pursuit of happiness one should stop, and just be happy."

If you are not happy with something in your life, change it!  Don't be afraid to end a toxic relationship, say 'I'm sorry', look for a different job, or do whatever is necessary to make your life something you can enjoy.